I was born to live not to impress someone

New Delhi: During high school, a friend of mine(Worchuilan, I wonder where is she now) told me once that we all have that few seconds of weird moment every single day even when we are home.

Be crazy and do what you like was her style! I have always wanted to be the crazy one and probably I have been one. I am still the craziest one in the family anyways.

It has always made me be with that best cool gang team, trying so hard myself to fit in like I was the most wanted.
There’s always been a breach between ‘what I want to be’ and ‘what I think the world thinks I should be’. I got lost in between these two thoughts trying to fit in both.

Growing up, I was definitely what you would call a “tomboy.” When I had a first mushroom cut during Christmas, my family was at my Village, Shangshak, for Christmas holidays. I remember one uncle curiously asked my mother if I had the hair cut to get rid of lice on my hair. That’s a weird question though. That’s something I never forgot until today. When other girls wore girlie dresses, I was always with shabby shorts and Ts, hanging around aimlessly like an abandoned cow, stole neighbors fruits and vegetables from the garden, pooed in my best friend’s garden, me and my second sister Shim hung dead dog’s head in my brother’s room early morning at Imphal…some of my crazy childhood incidents I remember.

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With my Choti sis Shimu during our stupid days at Shangshak. Foodie sis.

The burden to fit in troubled me and it turned me into a social chameleon. I tried to be the person I felt I should be so I’d mingle in with those around me, whether that meant spending a concert night at town halls or attending a friend’s birthday party.

No doubt, we all have that person who we love and care so much or distinct groups of persons we care. So, it’s quite normal to show favoritism to a certain group time.
Looking back, I’ve spent half of my life trying to fit in which I was not meant for. I’ve always wanted and tried to make people happy, to make my parents proud, to be a good child and to receive permission from anyone and everyone be it my family, friends, bosses, or teachers etc.

If you have been trying so hard to fit in like me or you still are, then it’s probably just the right time for you for “Attitude check “. Trying hard to prove your worth to people might work for some time, but it could be a sign that you’ve already forgotten your value.

We live in a world where we are surrounded by expectations and perfectionism. The media highlights better versions of just about everything, creating a mindset that we should be striving for more. There’s no wonder so many of us feel like we’re not content and enough. The crave for betterment goes on and on.

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Tags like prettier, healthier, smarter, richer, slimmer, fitter, happier, nicer.. goes on. And what not? The point is, we are all unique and there is no right or wrong. We all have that ‘ME CRAZINESS’ inside us. But do not forget to know the real you and that is the only key to happiness.

To find that true happiness we must be true to ourselves, live our own dreams, and be proud of what makes us unique instead of feeling the pressure to follow the crowd.
Once you gain that attitude of accepting what you are, that’s when you know your true self. As I write this, I am listening to this song by Adam Levine.

If I got locked away
And we lost it all today
Tell me honestly, would you still love me the same?
If I showed you my flaws
If I couldn’t be strong
Tell me honestly, would you still love me the same…?
The desire to be accepted by others will always be there. But what is life, if full of parameters?
Sadly, there will always be someone prettier, clever, talented, or stronger than you, but the reverse is also true.
There will always be people less than you in all of these areas.

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So instead of comparing yourself to others, look to see if you’re fulfilling your own potential to the best of your ability.
The grass will always be greener on the other side if you keep comparing. In nature, everything is needed and it all has its place.

Let go of who you think you should be and be who you are. Life may be crazy but It is all about being true to yourself.

Be yourself, Trying to fit in, Life, Happiness

LOVE SKYRIM